Ambiguity & Ambrosia
by asagohan-no-bento
Summary: Death and Life. Hate and Love. Unspeakable things are plaguing Watanuki's head, seeping into Doumeki's being. Can these two overcome this new threat or are they already in too deep? Language and Gore. May eventually become yaoi. R
1. First Slice: Death

A/N: Hello fellow xxxHolic fandom readers!! So yeah, this story kinda came about from just brainstorming and free writing. I wanted to branch out of my comfortable 'romance' genre and into sorta adventure/gore/horror/suspense....yeah. XD I hope you like it, it'll be confusing and twisty and not really coherent but I still hope you will enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, CLAMP beat me to the punch!

Warning: Non-discriptive gore. But don't worry, there will be lots and lots later. (insert evil laughter here)

Ambiguity & Ambrosia: First Slice: Death

--

Death.

It's something I've thought of plenty of times.

How it would feel, how it would happen.

Would I die from something simple? Something unexpected?

Would it be peaceful? Painful? Agonizingly so?

A fire, a car crash, poisoning?

And then, after I have a set scenario in my head, I would move on to after that.

Would I go to Heaven, if there really is such a place. I really doubted that I would go to Hell, but....what if? This is hypothetically speaking after all.

What about reincarnation? Would I end up as another me, living through another life, thinking once again about the ambiguities of death?

Then, finally, once I was content with my ponderings my mind would shift onto another train of thought.

Would my death effect the lives of those I've left behind?

Would anyone miss me? Would anyone notice? And if they did, would they mourn the occasion or would it be a rejoicing matter?

"Oh God! Please no!"

Would they cry? Would my death really matter?

A glint of light reflected off the shinning surface, the first plunge.

I screamed and screamed, my eyes shutting tightly to block everything out.

My hands were groping at my thigh, hot, steaming liquid smearing along the skin.

Then the fingers hit a hard surface, and my eyes shot open.

I saw his face, covered in blood and with a twisted grin.

"Die, please just die." He pleaded, tears streaming down from those golden eyes.

I never thought that dying by his hands could be so horrendous, but so necessary.

That my death would be vital to his life.

--

A/N: So what did you think? Please review! Off to the next chapter we go!!

A-n-B


	2. Second Slice: Crawling

A/N: Is this fun or what! XD Well here is chapter two, have fun. It's quick and gets to the point. Don't expect long chapters for this series, it's more fun this way. XD

Warning: Language! (le gasp!)

**Second Slice: Crawling**

--

Hard breathing, you could hardly blame me.

An inhale, an exhale. Then the viscous cycle of respiration repeats.

But dammit! My circulation still wasn't going fast enough.

My legs were cramping, burning from the exertion.

_"Run, run, run, run. Pick up your fucking feet!"_

A hard surface, and suddenly, everything was okay.

"It's too hot for idiots to run around." Stated the even voice and I breathed a sigh of relief into the person's chest.

"Shut up, stupid Doumeki," I grumbled, pushing myself off of the firm chest. I was still panting, and my legs were cramping up even more than before.

"You okay?" He asked, obviously concerned over my lack of yelling, the fact that I wasn't bombarding him with unnecessary adjectives to describe my utter loathing for him.

I was leaning against my knees, still trying to catch my breath. I glanced up at him through sweat-slicked bangs.

He was wearing a plain shirt, plaid knee shorts. The clothing of summer, light and airy.

A sharp pain shot through my left arm and I reflexively grabbed it, hissing through my teeth.

"Hey, you okay?" I heard Doumeki ask again, but I couln'td reply, I needed my breath, I couldn't be bothered.

It felt like something was slowly making it's way through my veins, but it was too big to fit into the space, stretching the smooth muscle that surrounded the blood vessels as it crawled up my arm.

My back hit a wall and I slid down it, still staring at my arm. The pain was unrelenting, shot after shot of overly zealous stimulation to my nerves.

I was sweating again, hot trails streaming off my chin. My vision was getting cloudy, it was hard to see. My brain slowly shut down, and I could hear some sort of vibration around me, drumming itself into my ears.

It was Doumeki.

And then I couldn't see anymore.

--

A/N: So that's all for now peoples, I hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW!

loves. A-n-B


	3. Third Slice: Conversation

A/N: Hello everyone! So, here's chapter three. Things still won't make much (or any) sense, but don't worry, I'm not just doing this for nothing. Or am I? Anyways, I understand that this angsty story might not appeal to some of you and that's totally fine, don't sweat it. Take it at your own pace or don't take it all, whichever is easiest for you. And with that, have fun!

Disclaimer: I own no'ting.

**Third Slice: Conversation **

--

I heard murmurs.

Soft connections of vocal vibrations that would gradually fly across the room.

A confirmation to a short question, though I couldn't make out the words.

_'Is he okay.'_

_'Yes'_

_'What happened?'_

_'You'll know soon enough.'_

Than I could feel bright light try to penetrate its way through my eyelids. It was a red tinted color, not yet annoying enough to make me want to actually get up.

What _was_ wrong with me. I remember running from some spirit, it's gooey tendrils mere inches away from my back and then...

And then what happened?

_'How soon?'_

Doumeki...right. When wasn't it him?

_'Enough.'_

Yuko sounded down-trodden, as if every last drop of sake she had left in her possession suddenly dried up.

There was some sort of gruff huffing sound coming from my right. And agitated and impatient sound.

The kind of sound I would never expect from Doumeki.

_'How did you know to wait for him.' _

A pause.

_'I had a dream. Grandfather was there.'_

The red tint gradually died down and I was once again surrounded by darkness. Pitch black separation from reality.

The words became vibrations again, and everything slowly died down.

The murmurs were dead to me.

--

A/N: Whoohoo! End of ch. 3!

You guys know the drill, and I hope you liked it.

loves. A-n-B


	4. Fourth Slice: April Showers

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Fourth Slice:**__**April Showers**

--

_"Watch out Kimihiro-kun. Be careful around him."_

Those words ran around in my head as I slowly opened my eyes.

I couldn't remember what my dream had been about exactly....but, I didn't feel threatened by it. I felt as if, maybe, I accepted what was being said to me, but was not concerned by it.

I felt so heavy, sitting up was a strain.

_"He'll hurt you, run."_

_"Who'll hurt me?"_

_A sad look graced the aged man's face._

_"Shizuka."_

_I scoffed, "Haruka-san, with all do respect, I don't think..."_

_"Oh, it won't be of his own accord of course, but it will happen. I suggest you stay away from my grandson for awhile."_

_"But why?" _

_"It could be, well, fatal otherwise," he said with a puff of his cigarette and a small upturning of his lips._

The water in Yuko's shower seemed abnormally cold that morning, no matter how high I turned the heat, freezing cold pellets continued to spew from the faucet.

By the time I got out, my entire body was dusted with a blush of blue, teeth chattering loudly.

My eyes shot wide. A loud gurgling sound was coming from behind the shower curtain, as if all the water was having difficulty making its way down the pipes. The sound grew and grew, rising from the hollow echo of the bathtub to a more widespread vibration that filled the room.

The sound was angry and so very very distorted. I turned, only to be met by a huge shadow, a flimsy curtain of plastic the only thing protecting me from whatever the hell it was that decided to manifest.

And then, four perfectly rounded spheres shot through my side, ripping through the white skin effortlessly, their exit keeping the same grace.

No sounds escaped my mouth, my brain felt numb as a hand went to grip the wounded area of its own accord. Warm stickiness swept my skin, and I could feel the wet runs make their paths down my left leg. I started shaking, my voice breaking in small chokes of disbelief.

There were tares in the plastic as well, four perfectly shaped circles, but there was nothing behind it.

My knees buckled and I fell, having enough sense to catch myself with a free hand, but the pain it ensued only broke that small grip of strength, causing me to fall completely onto the floor--thankfully on my un-punctured side.

I heard a sharp yelling, a short panicked sound. Than I could feel the blood around my cheek, god I must have been coated in it.

Everything went hazy, and yet, the true pain from where my skin was entered never really registered.

Blue lulled behind white, and all I could see was a terribly deceitful smile and a mixture of Doumeki's skin.

--

A/N: Hey guys, Sorry about my lack of updates (for any of my stories) i've been really busy lately and well...uninspired as well. So yeah, I finally got around to writing again and I busted out a new chapter! Hope you liked it, I'm sorry about the gore, but you know, it's probably not going to get much better......

Review please and thanks!

loves. A-n-B


	5. Fifth Slice:Nobody Move Nobody Gets Hurt

A/N: I know I know, I haven't updated this in forever. But hey! Here's the next chapter.

**Ambiguity and Ambrosia Chapter 5: Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt**

--

Stream.

Pulse.

Stream.

Deep Breath, deep breathe, deep breath.

Hitch.

Tense.

Relax again.

Stream.

Pulse.

Stream.

...

I could feel the blood pool in my head, clotting, pushing platelets and intercellular fluid through veins, capillaries, the circulatory circuit of my body.

There was a weight on my legs, my stomach....slowly escalating to my chest.

It was heavy, heavier still, and it was warm.

_Almost scorching._

Then I felt pain, hot _searing_ agony through my chest, like it was being carved open.

My eyes shot open, grabbing the wrist of whoever it was on top of me.

"STOP! STOP!" I yelled, looking down to where a glittering knife was half embedded in my chest, blood oozing and pooling over the ripped skin, soaking into the white blankets leaving a crimson trail of gore.

The blood started to _stream_ down my chest, over my sides, making a small circle as it seeped into the bedding below me.

My eye-sight was blurry, I couldn't see a damn thing, but I knew who was above me, holding me down, _torturing me._

The knife was pushed in a little deeper, the metal scarping bone and I released an ear-splitting scream.

My heart beat was so loud in my head, pounding and pounding.

More blood pooled, spilt, slid over my sides, I felt like I was bathing in it.

Those hands left the knife where it was, perfectly vertical, stuck in my sternum, and started smoothing the blood into my skin, like a lotion, making small circles and indiscernible patterns.

Again that wicked smile reared it's hideous head, gleaming like a star and blinding me.

I started to hyperventilate, shake uncontrollably like I was going into shock.

I felt hot breath on my skin, cooling the over-heated blood staining me.

Then added wetness, though it was stiff.

Like licking.

My eyes shut tight, I shook even harder, screamed even louder.

That warm heat traveled with those murderous hands, "let me go, let me go," I whimpered, voice cracking and barely audible.

How was I still conscious?

"No." The being breathed into my ear, licking the rim and smearing a bloodied hand through my hair.

"Stop this, stop it, why why!?"

A hard chuckle and then I felt that knife pushed deeper, the being putting all their weight into it.

Another scream. "DOUMEKI!!"

"Watanuki." He breathed again, a sadistic edge to that usually passive voice,

I was crying so hard, I couldn't even fight back,

"Watanuki," He breathed again and I could feel his pelvis rub against mine.

"stopstopstopstopstop," I repeated again and again, hoping that he would snap out of it. He gripped my shoulders, picking me up and then slamming me back down onto the futon.

"Stop?" He asked, no not asked, he never asks, "I think you're saying otherwise. Another small grind against my pelvis.

"You're killing me..." I whimpered, my chest was numb, I couldn't feel, see, I could barely hear.

"Watanuki," again he was on top of me.

"Watanuki."

"WAKE UP!"

...

A/N: CHAPTER DONE! oh-ho-ho where the hell is this stuff coming from???

I don't know....

Anyways, I'm really getting into some trippy shit now, SO FASTEN YOUR SEAT-BELTS CAUSE THIS HERE IS THE WILDEST RIDE IN THE WILDERNESS!

Review please please please~

A-n-B


	6. Sixth Slice: White Suburb Impressionism

A/N: Quick update ya? You read ya? Cool ya?

**Sixth Slice: White Suburb Impressionism**

--

_**..."Everybody's someone else's freak,**_

_**Every cure is someone else's disease."...**_

--

_"Why isn't he waking up?! Dammit Witch! What the hell is going on?!"_

_Doumeki had to yell over the sound of my screams._

_"He's infected." _

_Yuko's voice was smooth, controlled._

_Scared._

_There was a stagnate pause...._

_a breath, I could practically _see_ the cringe on Doumeki's face simply from the tone of his voice._

_The strain of it._

_I thrashed, but not me. My body did. _

_My mind wasn't even attached to it._

_Like I was residing somewhere else with a television set to a channel that let me watch._

_A television that was connected to surround sound._

_To recorded cable._

_It kept replaying that knife coming down, the blood._

_The gore._

_Another scream._

_Cry._

_Shout._

_Shudder._

_"Infected? With what..."_

_Yuko said nothing, remained silent._

_The price was probably too high._

_As if my life was worth something._

_Doumeki had had enough._

_A slam, anger radiating off him in waves. More noise adding to my never ceasing cries._

_Though I had never seen anything outside of that stoic mask, or that terrifying glimmer of pure evil -my mind t.v. decided to get a close up of that malicious smile at that very moment-, I understood what Doumeki would look like, with pure hatred wafting around him._

_"You know I'll pay, whatever it is. Cure him."_

_There was a stagnate pause...._

_Pause...._

_pause...._

_pause...._

_"Wait. The price will decrease."_

_"He doesn't have _time_ to wait and you kno-"_

_"The end result will ultimately be the same, but the journey that gets you to that resolution may not be in either of your best interests. The end does not always justify the means."_

_Doumeki's fists clenched tightly. Probably the only thing keeping him from beating the answer out of her._

_Probably not the actual answer, just whatever it was he wanted to hear._

_That everything would be okay._

_Maybe..._

_Possibly..._

Probably not.

_Then there was a hush._

_I had probably, _finally_, passed out._

_Yuko turned to leave._

_"He's stopped. Enjoy your time with him while you can." _

_Doumeki's golden eyes widened at her words._

_She was at the door._

_"And Doumeki-kun..." She started_

_He continued to look at her back, the flowing silk kimono and abundant obi knotted perfectly in every way._

**"You're infected too."**

--

A/N: Holy shAt, am I really updating this story in a reasonable amount of time?! HOT DOG!

I forgot how much fun this story is to write, it's very stream-of-consciousness-y which is always very enjoyable for me.

OH MY DAMN! Look! I give you the start of PLOT! OMFGABCD!

I know, I'm intense like that.

Anywhozle. Thanks for all the reviews I received for the last chapter, a lot of them made me happy and smile and realize "Damn I really need to get back to writing..." I've been slacking so much. (Photoshop has been eating all of my writing muses.....odd)

Please keep reviewing, see I do update when I have proper motivation~

love love

A-n-B


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